How to overcome with life’s traumatic events!
Everyone goes through traumatic life events, some worst than others. My job is to bring you back from your life traumatic events.
When I return you to the game of life you will not be the same YOU”LL BE BETTER because if you return to life the same YOU WILL GET HURT AGAIN.
After some of these events people get depressed and self consumed in their problems not able to do anything. I have worked with people who have locked themselves in their house and even sometimes they locked themselves in a room in their house separating themselves from their family.
In many cases friends and family are no help to snapping your out of your depression or mental anxiety from your trauma. You friends and family mean the best however, in many cases they will allow you to wallow in your own self pity.
For some of you the trauma you are going through people may even wonder what is the big deal however, to you it is a big deal.
For me, it’s an emotionally abusive relationship that finally lead to divorce. I was a very emotional guy. So was my ex-wife’s father. By seeing how her mother treated him she knew how to get to me.
One thing my ex-wife would tell me is my mother knows how to push his buttons. The entire family makes fun of the father in which her turned to alcohol to escape his problems.
I make the comparison of Homer Simpson as to my father in law. My father in law is Homer Simpson.
Of course things did not start out bad however, through time something started to happen my wife stoped holding my hand, did not want me to kiss her the way I did before.
Eventually she started to tell me she did not love me anymore, I was a loser and that she hated me which put me into a depression. I was so depressed that I started beating myself.
I am not perfect however, I always tried to treat her in a way to make her feel “cherished”.
At the time I was working as a business consultant many times working with multi billionaire companies. There are people who are more skilled and talented than me however, I was successful in working with these companies.
The company ended up closing down so I was back in the job market as we’ll as trying to use my skills in making money. However, due to the fact I was so depressed and I was beating myself to push myself I could not find a job and who could blame them however, my ex-wife started spreading rumor thats I was refusing to work.
I sought help from those I looked up however, they took her side. The was not about taking side but getting help. They refused to look at how deep of a depression I was in and that I was so depressed I beat myself.
I evenly pushed through it and made $5,000 a week for a couple of weeks hoping things would get better however, it actually made things worse because my ex-wife stopped talking to me which pushed me even further into a depression.
Something I did not understand that at the time however, after consulting with therapist who believes by what I said (of course they only have mysids of the story) but my therapist believes she want to end the marriage however, she needed an excuse so the divorce would not reflect on her.
We separated and then got back together for 9 month however, it still did not last. She went to her parents for a visit and never returned and moved back to California where we were living before the separation.
Months later I found a picture of her brothers instagram linking to a car chase on Fox News. My ex-wife new boy friend was gangster from Compton who while my ex-wife “Lynda Murillo Brown” was with her new friend he stole a truck from them and kidnapped her and stabbed her the police eventually shot him.
After our first separation we moved to Florida however, after our second separation I was so devastated that I lived out of my car for about 9 months. I tried to use my skills to make money to get myself out back out of this situation.
I sat at a table in the park, trying to work but is all I could do is look at it. I was so exhausted I would fall asleep working at the table.
I lady from New Jersey came to Florida and invited me to stay with some friends in her time share for a couple of months while in the time my happiness level started in increase I was not happy but my happiness level do go up so I could think a little more clearly so upload some Youtube video which earned me enough to get take a flight back to California which my old boss Paul Gonzales invited me to stay with his to re-start my business.
I was consumed by my problems I could not do anything else. The book “Relentless” by Micheal Jordans performance coach “Tim Grover” says: Emotions make you weak because it causes you to think about something other than what you are suppose to be doing.
After YOUR trauma you will need sometime to re-group and wallow in your own self pity however, after this stage is over it is time for you recover from your trauma. Tim Grover again, works with high level athletes like Micheal Jordan.
Tim Grover says: Lot of my work is to bring a player back from serious injuries. When I return him to the team HE WILL BE BETTER THAN HE WAS. It he returns him the same he’ll probably get hurt again.
I made my problems worst by being emotionally weak. This infuriate some of you because you are not ready to hear it however, for those of you who are READY your trauma has been worst by being emotionally weak. It is now time to accept the responsibility.
I found three very good people in my life (Rick Erickson, Lou Malina, and Ruben Munet) and I do not know where I would be without them however, many of them wanted me to give up. They allowed me to feel sorry for myself.
I first Isaiah 43:18-19 that says: “Do not remember the former things, and do not dwell on the past, Look! I am doing something new”
Just like Tim Grover who’s job is to work with injured players and make them better than they were before. My job was to re-invent myself and make myself immune to pain.
1) The first thing I did is to change my identity before everyone knew me as Chris Brown. It’s ok if people still call me Chris however, Today I go by the name Christopher Brown.
2) The next thing I did is to change my self perception of myself through positive self talk and mediation.
3) The other thing I did is to study people who went through trauma and who came out the other side a success. One of my favorites was Curtis Jackson (A.K.A the rapper knows as Fifty Cent) who mother was murder at an early age and forced to be a drug dealer to survive and had the courage to overcome his trials and leave that life behind and became a successful raper and even a more successful business man.
See his story in the book “The 50th Law”.
I also started learning about the Navy Seals techniques. The Navy Seals go through BUDS training before becoming a Navy Seal which is the toughest training in the entire U.S Military.
80% of people fail to compete BUDDS training. Even if you complete BUDDS training that does not mean you made it as a Navy Seal. As a Navy Seal, in war you are gonna see you pals died. How are you gonna endure that?
The thing about pain and trauma it does matter the type of pain it just matters that you put yourself through pain. The Navy Seals have a saying “The more your sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war”. So the Navy Seal voluntarily put them selves in pain so they are better able to cope with real pain.
The Navy Seals also say: “The only easy day was yesterday”. So I continue to push myself and push myself through more intense pain so that I can endure any trauma that comes my way.
Research shows the average person will have to endure serious tragedy every 18 months. Perhaps for you it has been longer than 18 months and for some of you it’s been less than 18 months however, the economy is gonna crash, someone is gonna, and you are gonna have to eventually endure so sort of pain.
For me I have decided to put myself through this pain now so I can cope when real tragedy occurs however, more important than that I can be the leader that my new wife can lean on for support.
The Navy Seal have what they call as the 40% RULE which says: “When you believe you are done and can’t do anymore you are only 40% done you got another 60% to go. The brain gives up long before the body does.
When your brain is telling you to quit the body is being deprived of valuable resources from either mental or physical stress however, I am training my body to push myself beyond the pain.
Another quote from the book “Relentless” “Ignore the pain, you’ll get use to it”. Because the more pain you put yourself through the more pain you can endure.
I push myself through 3 days fast which has it health benefits however, the hardest thing about not eating is the “Mental Part”. I found a common trait with mental tough people who can push themselves though the toughest circumstances is they are “Ultra Marathon” runners. So I run 5-10 miles everyday developing strategies to push myself further and further without taking a rest.
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I lift low weight high reps so I can push myself through the pain until my body gives out.
I just started taking ice showers because as part of the Navy Seal strength training they jump into ice cold freezing water.
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Joel Runyon in his TED Talks address that talking cold showers addressed all the weaknesses in his life. He says: “If you are not willing to take a cold shower for minutes. Alone in the shower. Where the only negative outcome is you being cold for minutes. And the only person being effected by that decision is you.
Then how will you ever have the courage to be uncomfortable where the out comes are much, much greater.”
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The big mistakes in the battle field is all due to panic and fear however, the Navy Seal are trained how to override fear.
In the book “The Laws of Success” which is a 25 year study of the worlds most success people which they uncover the 17 principles of success, the 30 principles of failure, and the 6 major fears that cause people to self sabotage themselves.
I am a man of peace however, I fully embrace the philosophy of the Navy Seals “The more you sweat in war, the less you bleed in war”. Throughout the “Alpha Lifestyle Academy” we will address the philosophy of the Navy Seals.
In BUDS training it is not the physically gifted who pass BUDS because they are not use to failing it is the mentally tough to succeed but as the following TED Talks points out there are those accustom to failure so they try and try until they succeed. <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/kU1DI8HsYAg” frameborder=”0″ allow=”autoplay; encrypted-media” allowfullscreen></iframe>by