19 Warning Signs [Red Flags] A Woman Will Destroy Your Life!
Introduction:
Finding a woman who will be your sexual partner is not hard. Finding a woman who will be your friend is not hard. Finding a woman who will be a team player is not hard. But finding all these qualities in one woman is not easy. Finding a woman who is loyal until death do us part is.
Being With The Wrong Woman Will Sabotage Your Life:
We’ve all heard that behind every successful man is a supportive wife. Feminism has misled people by suggesting that if one person succeeds, they are taking something away from others.
A family can accomplish much more when they work together as a team rather than individually.
One of the world's most famous billionaires financed a 25-year study on what makes a person thrive. This study found 17 principles that lead to success, 33 reasons why people fail, and 6 ways people sabotage themselves.
One of the factors that causes people to fail is being with the wrong woman. Your emotional, physical, and financial future could be in jeopardy by being with the wrong woman.
Understanding The Warning Signs:
These warning signs are known as red flags. Red flags build up over time.
Broken people don’t put in the work to overcome their baggage. They don’t understand the value of admitting faults and shortcomings, and they don’t work to overcome their issues.
If they can’t work on themselves, they can't work on a relationship or marriage.
What It Means To Be Damaged:
Men and women can both be damaged; however, damaged women push boundaries. They are glad for the freedom they have, but this causes them to disrespect their man, wondering why he doesn’t stand up to her.
A nice guy tries to make peace and won’t say what's on his mind for the sake of peace, but it digs him deeper each time because she sees him as weak, not loving, and will keep pushing until he finally stands up to her or the relationship ends.
Don't Ignore The Warning Signs:
Overly nice guys don’t leave when they see red flags. Don’t let your need for being a good guy cause you to overlook her warning signs because instead of helping her, she will drag you down with them.
The 48 Laws of Power warn us to avoid losers, and the Bible Proverbs 26:17 explains: Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own.
It is not your job to save her; leave that to someone else.
#1 She Is Not Financially Responsible?
This can mean a woman who cannot control her spending habits or a woman who is not earning enough to properly take care of herself.
Industrial Revolution Killed The Family:
The idea of the stay-at-home housewife is often referred to as the 'good old days'; however, if you watch documentaries about those alive during the 1920s, they believed those were the true 'good old days.'
It seems that every generation looks at the previous generation as the 'good old days.'
The idea of the stay-at-home wife had a short life.
The Industrial Revolution destroyed the family.
In previous generations, husbands, wives, and even children worked together to provide for the family. They were a close family unit; however, the Industrial Revolution destroyed this.
Men started leaving their families at home and working jobs that made women dependent on their husbands for support.
This was a time when more modern movies of the 1950s showed women getting bored and looking for ways to escape.
We have the idea that the 1950s were morally pure; however, magazine articles of the time showed that there was an increase in couples being disloyal to each other because they spent so much more time apart from each other than they had in the past, which led to changes in laws in the 1960s to provide for women if the marriage ends.
I Can Provide For Myself:
Many feminists are confused because they are not in a relationship. They say: 'I can provide for myself, I have a car, I can pay rent by myself.'
They act like this is a selling point:
'Welcome to being an adult.'
Sure, at times, because of bad choices and circumstances, people get into bad financial situations, but having an income is not a selling point for a relationship with a woman.
The Down Side For Having A Stay At Home Wife As A Man:
The wife gives up her career to stay at home, while the husband goes off to work. The husband feels unappreciated because he usually overly focuses on the financial stability he provides and neglects the other needs his wife has. Because her needs are not being met, she is always in a bad mood, sex disappears, the wife gets bored, finds someone who excites her, ends up cheating, then leaves the relationship and divorces him. She is financially rewarded for leaving him by the family courts.
When women are damaged and we don’t see the warning signs, the woman we marry is not the same woman who divorces you. This is why you need to see the warning signs, and if you're already married to her, you need to arm yourself with the knowledge to protect yourself.
Does She Over Spend?
Being able to control her spending habits is also another warning sign because some of these women feel they don’t have a spending problem and turn it around on the man, blaming him for having an earning problem.
This type of woman can financially ruin you; however, another problem is that this type of woman might be addicted to the emotional rush of shopping.
What Her Over Spending Really Means:
We are a cocktail of brain chemicals; one of these chemicals is serotonin (happiness) and dopamine (pleasure). If a woman is overspending to get a surge of dopamine.
This dopamine addiction can lead to turning shopping into alcohol, drugs, or even the excitement of other men.
So be careful.
About a year before I got with my wife, every weekend she would spend almost her entire paycheck on clothes. Then, once a year when she got bored, she would give away her clothes. This way, she would have room in her closet for new clothes.
Just like she got bored of her clothes, she got bored of me and moved on. It is not her fault. It was because I did not know how to identify the warning signs.
She gave me all the warning signs that she was dangerous.
#2 Was She Abusive Childhood?
Another warning sign I didn't understand was her childhood abuse. When I looked at her very young childhood pictures, she had a big smile like young girls do. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped smiling. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't like to smile back then.
Around 20 years later, I have a picture where she is just starting to smile again. About a year after this picture was taken, she had a full smile again.
Almost every woman who wants to run away when things get hard comes from a bad childhood, an abusive childhood, abandonment issues, sexual abuse, or creepy uncles. Women who come from divorced homes have increased odds of divorce.
Many damaged women try to scare men with their childhood stories. However, what is known as the nicest guy says: "It will take more than that to scare me away."
These types of men want to be noble and stay around. Instead, he should ask her how she is healing from the trauma and what she has done or is doing to stop these issues from negatively affecting her life.
How she reacts will tell you a lot about whether you should give the relationship a chance. Many women don’t like to admit something is wrong with them. It makes them feel they are wrong. They take it as a personal attack. Most women have not dealt with these issues.
Young girls end up becoming the things they hate in their mothers.
My wife was upset with how her mother treated her father. She told me how her mother always pushed her father's buttons. I wanted to pull out my hair in frustration. "Don't you see you do the same thing to me?"
You may need to ask yourself, "Why are you with her? Do you like to save women? Do you want to be her knight in shining armor?" If so, this may reveal some of your own traumas of codependency.
My friend, L, has a history of trying to save damaged women. He has been married 3 times to very damaged women. His current wife, whom he broke up with, he put her on a train and started crying. He felt bad and took her back which, 4 kids later, has destroyed his life.
He said to me, "If only I left her on the bus." However, I told him, "By what you have told me, you would have ended up with another broken and damaged woman.
#3 Is She Divorced:
Seventy percent of women initiate divorce, and ninety percent of college-educated women initiate divorce in the USA. This trend occurs because women are rewarded for divorcing their husbands. However, women who are broken become addicted to dopamine.
Dopamine is a pleasure-inducing neurotransmitter. The brain responds to stimuli like sugar, drugs, and sex by releasing dopamine. Over time, the brain adjusts, requiring more intense stimuli to achieve the same dopamine levels. This phenomenon contributes to obesity, as individuals seek more food for the same pleasure.
Similarly, in relationships, individuals may not experience the same level of pleasure as before. Some may mistake this for unhappiness. Those who repeatedly divorce or move from one relationship to another are often addicted to dopamine.
When a woman's dopamine levels return to normal, if she is damaged, she may leave her partner to seek someone who can stimulate her dopamine levels once again.
A study from the University of Chicago found no evidence that unhappy people who divorced were any happier than those who stayed together. The study revealed that divorce did not typically reduce depression or raise self-esteem. Unhappiness is not solely caused by marriage, even when considering factors such as income, age, gender, and education.
There are numerous unintended consequences that can wreak havoc on your life. Damaged individuals often focus on the present moment without considering the consequences of divorce.
Platforms like TikTok are filled with damaged women venting about their misery after divorcing their husbands and highlighting how well their ex-partners' lives are now.
Interestingly, five years later, the study found that two-thirds of couples were happy once again. This outcome aligns with our understanding of brain chemistry.
While there are circumstances where divorce may be the only option, understanding the reasons behind the divorce can provide valuable insights. It helps determine whether she was chasing dopamine or if there were legitimate reasons for the divorce.
#4 Does She Have Children:
Kids complicate things, when a couple has kids together they work together as a team however, if you are in a relationship with woman who has kids the kids will always come before you which is a headache most men do not want to deal with.
One the other hand, a woman who has multiple kids from different men is worse. Often times this is a warning sign of who is addicted to the excitement of dopamine.
She does not have the emotional state to avoid making a mistake. She may only be in the moment, impulsive and other negative traits.
You do not want to be with a woman like this.
#5 Is She A Recovering Addict?
Everyone deserves a second chance, but they need to prove themselves. The question will always come up: are they using again? What people are really addicted to is dopamine. There are healthy addictions; you can be addicted to working out. However, many exchange one addiction for another.
#6 Can She Control Her Emotions?
Broken women act like children because when the stress gets too much, they behave like children. Overly nice men give women the benefit of the doubt.
Emotional outbursts are seen as normal female behavior. Society wants us to be overly compassionate and ignore warning signs that she is dangerous. Her outbursts stem from her inability to cope with everyday life. Society does not expect women to cope.
Despite how these damaged women act, they are still adults. They need to learn how to control their emotions.
Many overly nice men end up apologizing to her for her outbursts because she manipulates them into believing it was their fault.
These women are adults, even if something he did caused her to lose control. Men would not be able to act like children, and neither should she.
If you are in a relationship like this, you need to learn how to set boundaries. Many overly nice men are often afraid of their wives because they do not want to upset them and end up becoming a shell of the men they were before.
If you do not want to end up like this, then avoid women with emotional issues.
#7 Does She Lie?
She may only tell what are known as white lies; however, if she can mislead you, this does not mean she will be capable of telling more serious lies.
If she lies, you need to find out what she is hiding because she is probably lying to cover up a much bigger issue.
You need to discover what she is hiding. Do not cave into her emotions, crocodile tears, and gaslighting. It may be something as simple as overspending, but you may also find evidence for the end of your relationship.
#8 Does She Have Male Friends?
She may say that men are easier to be friends with because women have drama, which may be true. However, more than likely, the attention from men fills a hole in her soul.
Men who are friends with women know that the men want a relationship with her and may do everything in their power to sabotage your relationship with her for a chance to be with her.
The chances of your woman acting inappropriately, even if she does not cheat on you, go way up when surrounded by men.
#9 Is She Jealous?
Extreme jealousy stems from an unhealthy fear of abandonment.
In my own case, my wife wanted to watch me have sex with other women, but not without her. She worried I would cheat without her watching. She checked my phone because I was having financial problems; she believed I was supporting another family, and that's why I had less money.
Extremely jealous women will often cheat on you before you cheat on them. Even if you have no intentions of cheating, this is what she believes in her mind. "I knew you were going to cheat on me anyway," or she will do something to break your trust in her.
Either way, it's something to sabotage the relationship.
#10 She Moves To Fast:
In my own case, I should have known this was a warning sign. However, my wife and I went to Disneyland, and once we got back home, we had the best make-out session of my life. Even after we were married, I never felt anything like that again.
I was from a small town and moved to Los Angeles, which to the locals, I was naive. I was with old-school, religious values to wait until you're married to have sex. However, soon after, she tried to put my hand down her pants.
Women who are ready for sex so quickly after meeting them bond with the man quickly. Like in my case, she wanted to spend every minute of every day with me. To a man, it feels great to be wanted and desired.
You have learned about dopamine so far. She became addicted to me, but after we got married, it dried up, and she got bored with me.
Broken women, often times Socialpaths, end up codependent people. I gave her everything she needed, and in turn, she gave me everything I needed. However, it was not until after we were married that I began to see the warning signs.
On the other hand, mentally healthy women want to take things slow to have a greater chance we are good for each other.
#11 She Has A Mental Disorder:
At its core, a mental disorder is how well damaged women handle the baggage in life and if they have learned to process it.
If these types of women (and men too, but this module focuses on women) have not learned how to deal with past trauma, they can be stuck in the same place for years.
It takes a lot of patience to be in a relationship with a person like this. Depending on the type of trauma, these women can have the same maturity level as a young child. They may experience panic attacks, struggle to cope with crowds, and may create a reality in their heads that just isn’t true.
Yes, a therapist can help, medication may help, but thriving in a relationship with a woman like this is impossible.
Note: There is a difference between a mental disorder and what is known as neuro-diversity, which means you don’t think the same way many other people do. These people are highly creative, intelligent, and great problem solvers.
#12 She Does Not Introduce You To Her Family
This can mean a woman who cannot control her spending habits or a woman who is not earning enough to properly take care of herself.
You may hear horror stories about her family; however, once you meet the family, they don’t seem that bad.
I have heard stories where the woman tells stories about how bad her family is; however, once you meet them, the family may say, 'You're such a nice person,' but warn you about their daughter, sister, cousin, etc.
I know men who ignored these warning signs where the women ended up destroying the men's lives.
#13 She Is Controlling:
In the beginning of a relationship, men and women will adhere to traditional male and female gender roles. However, as the relationship continues, both can let down their guard and the roles start to reverse. Women will try to take over what they do not think the men are handling, and she becomes the dominant figure in the relationship because the man believes this is making her happy.
She needs to be able to trust the man she is with to be the leader. Men may have had bad examples of how to lead, and even if he is trustworthy, because of childhood trauma, she cannot trust him to take the lead.
The result may lead to a lack of intimacy, where the wife begins to dream of leaving the relationship, while the husband enjoys his life. If she is controlling in the beginning, it will only get worse when married.
In my own experience, my wife adored me at the beginning of our relationship; however, over time, she grew bored with me and became controlling.
After the relationship ended, some of my friends told me, 'Yes, we talked about how mean she was to you.'
You then think, 'Why didn’t you say anything to her?' However, she did have a friend who was emotionally strong and stood up to her, telling her that she was being mean to me.
This is because I did not know how to set boundaries yet, and I did not demand to be treated right. This is a skill I had to learn, which we talk about in other modules.
#14 She Is High Maintenance:
Women can’t go backwards financially, men can’t go backwards sexually. If you're dating a woman who expects certain things, it's probably because of her parents or past boyfriends who either did everything for her or were in a situation to spoil her because they had the resources and didn't think much of it.
This is often known as the “alpha widow” phenomenon; look it up.
I have been around a lot of wealth. I met a girl that I liked; the mother was trying to set us up, but a friend of hers told me to run. She had gotten everything she ever asked for and was spoiled.
It's not that I couldn't get to that point financially, but it's because she would expect it.
#15 Her Sex Drive Does Not Match Your's:
The most passionate you will ever be for each other is at the beginning of the relationship. So, her sex drive only drops as time goes on, especially if she gets bored with you; however, in most cases, it is a health problem.
We are a cocktail of brain chemicals that cause us to do and act in certain ways. In men, it is the chemical testosterone that drives them to typically have a higher sex drive than women.
#16 Does She Have A History Of Dating Ass-Holes?
Most men find strippers, porn stars, and OnlyFans models attractive; however, most of these women are dangerous, and these men know not to get into a relationship with them.
On the other hand, damaged women get with men whom they know are bad for them. These types of women get a dopamine rush from the bad boy.
Once she is with a bad boy, you will never make her happy.
There is a term called “Alpha Widow”; this refers to the guy who pushed all her buttons but would not stay with her. She will forever compare you to him.
Once a woman has been with a "bad boy" she will never be content with a "nice guy".
#16 She Has A High Body Count:
The more people a person has sex with, the less happy they will be in a marriage
Women who have sex with promiscuous men have an increased risk of divorce because of the impact this has on the bonding hormone “oxytocin".
Women, on the other hand, will compare you to all the men she has been with, not just sexually. She will want all the qualities of the men she admires in one man, which is not possible.
#19 Is She Abusive?
This can mean physically or emotionally abusive. Many 'nice guys' put up with abusive women because men are physically stronger, but that doesn't make it right. Because I didn't know how to read my wife's warning signs after we were married, she became abusive. My wife used to tell me, 'I felt like hitting you.' She never did, but if a man said that to anyone, it wouldn't be acceptable. However, many people allow women to act like children. These are the types of women who, when they have children, end up abusing them.
#17 She Grew Up Without A Father Figure:
Women who have a close relationship with their father have realistic expectations, a higher sense of responsibility, and better coping skills for life challenges.
The article on how fathers affect their daughters from family studies states that women with a healthy relationship with their fathers are more likely to turn to boyfriends for support and less likely to be talked into having sex. These women tend to have longer-lasting, more satisfying relationships.
If she does not have a healthy relationship with her father, she will lack the tools to have a healthy relationship with you.
The family seemed to have a lack of respect for father figures. Even the men in the family did not respect other men besides themselves.
Years after my divorce, I met someone who knew the family. In a group conversation with the father, my wife's father jokingly said his family does not respect him because he was never around. He had to work long hours away from the family.
Being with me, my wife's relationship with her father improved. She was the only one who regularly called him, and we lived the farthest from him.
One day, my wife's father was venting to her about how none of the other kids called him, and he started to cry. She heard her mother in the background and hung up on him so he would stop crying.
Later, she called him back, apologized, and told him she hung up on him because she did not want her mom to hear him cry and take it out on him.
The mother seemed to be a sweet lady; however, at home with her husband, she was abusive, which drove him to drinking.
#18 She Is Secretive About Her Past:
Women love to share things about their lives. However, if she is not telling you about her life, the reason is probably not good. She is likely hiding something that you will not like, and later down the road, it may lead to other red flags.
My wife did not share much about her life or her family. A friend of hers, who grew up with her, mentioned after the end of my marriage that the family was always secretive about something. What we thought of as abusive in the family was something the family wanted to keep secret.
Even her mother, when I met her, did not exactly lie to me but wanted me to believe something other than the truth about her.
We Are All Damaged:
We are all damaged; you also have some red flags that women need to look out for. The key is not to find a woman who has no red flags but to find a woman who has red flags that you can deal with.
Some of the red flags are a bigger warning sign than others. You also need to work on your red flags to be the type of man that the women you are attracted to find attractive.
Conclusion:
It seems that every generation looks at the previous generation as the 'good old days.'
The idea of the stay-at-home wife had a short life.
The Industrial Revolution destroyed the family.
In previous generations, husbands, wives, and even children worked together to provide for the family. They were a close family unit; however, the Industrial Revolution destroyed this.
Men started leaving their families at home and working jobs that made women dependent on their husbands for support.
This was a time when more modern movies of the 1950s showed women getting bored and looking for ways to escape.
We have the idea that the 1950s were morally pure; however, magazine articles of the time showed that there was an increase in couples being disloyal to each other because they spent so much more time apart from each other than they had in the past, which led to changes in laws in the 1960s to provide for women if the marriage ends.
